Holiday Cheer ;)

Merry Christmas everyone!

This is gonna be a sad one....

Sorry for the bummer post, but it's that time of year. Today is October 29th. To most of you, this day means nothing more then any other Monday. But to a select few, it means everything. It is the day, 17 years ago, that my father died. I'm not going to go into the details of that day. Everyone who needs to know already does. But it was the day that changed my life, and my family, forever. I miss my dad every single day. Some days less, and on those days I'm grateful for the 14 years I had with him. Other days, I'm sad that my kids will never know their Grandpa. My dad would have been the best Grandpa! Seriously, he would've rocked at it. And it's total crap that my kids, and my niece and nephews miss out. Yes, they have family that loves and adores them, grandpas included. But it's not the same as the awesomeness that was my dad. A lot of things changed when he died. So much more then most people realize. My sister Heidi moved away, and we didn't see her for several years. My mom had a tough time dealing with the loss of her husband. She STILL has a tough time with it. She will until the day she gets to be with him again. They were a forever kind of thing. My sisters and I were lucky to have each other. It definitely changed us all. But it wasn't just us that things were never the same for. Some friends stopped coming over so much, because it was too sad, and those friendships were lost, or changed. Some family members came around even more, and some friends became like family. Take my friend Jennifer, for instance. She is not just my closest friend because we have been friends for 23 years. Also, because aside from my mom and sisters, she is the only other person in the world who knows every detail of that day. She was there that morning, having slept over the night before. She literally stood next to me through the entire ordeal. She held my hand at his funeral. And that makes her family. There is not a single day that goes by that I don't think of my dad. Thankfully, it's usually with a smile from a happy memory. But even then, I sure do miss my daddy....

Please Say Please!!

I am a mean mom. I will freely admit that. I am also a mean Aunt, babysitter or hostess of sleepovers/playdates. In my home, manners are not optional. I drive my niece Lilli crazy when she visits. She will come up and say "I'm thirsty." I will reply "It's nice to meet you Thirsty, I'm Aunt Toni." She will then say "No! I'm THIRSTY, like for a drink." I will follow up with "Okay Thirsty Likeforadrink, I'm Aunt Toni Pleaseaskcorrectly." This can go on for awhile, but eventually she will ask if she can please have a drink. I think now she might do it just for fun. However, most children whom I encounter these days do not use basic manners. I have heard several parents proclaim that their children are "too young" to learn manners. That's interesting. My nephew Tyler is not yet two, and has been saying "please" and "thank you" pretty much since he could talk. My own son, also nearly two, has said "thank you" for months. We just finally nailed "please" in the last few weeks. The look of shock on our faces when I said "Can you say please Lucas?" and he said "Peas!" instead of "Uh huh!" was pretty comical. I don't understand not teaching your kids manners. Why wouldn't you? My children learned simply because I use my manners. I will ask them to do something, and say please and thank you, so they do it too. I am constantly told how well behaved and polite my children are when they go to their friends' homes. My oldest calls his best friend's mom Mrs. Herlastname, thanks her for letting him visit, and according to her, uses his manners while he is there. I would be mortified if he didn't! Now, don't get me wrong, my children are not perfect. They can be downright monsters! The older two are awfully snotty sometimes, and my youngest is in a super fun screaming-when-he-gets-mad stage. It's truly amazing. However, they still use manners, even when tattling. Yesterday, Matthew came up to me and said "Mom, may you please tell Alyssa to stop jumping on my bed while I'm trying to read?" After I complied, he thanked me. To them, manners are just second nature. They very rarely even need to be reminded. Teaching your kids manners is very, very easy, and can begin at birth. If you use your manners in front of, and with, your own children, they will follow suit. My sister Tracy used to make fun of me for making my kids ask for things correctly, even at very young ages. Now that she has her own child, it doesn't seem so silly to her anymore. I feel the same way about manners as I do about grammar. When it comes to my kids, I don't care if they are gay or straight. I don't care if they get married and have babies or stay single and have cats (or married with cats even). I will not care if they decide to be doctors and lawyers, or instead move to Paris and become starving artists. As long as they are safe and happy. AND as long as they are polite, well spoken individuals with a good sense of right and wrong. Oh and as long as they NEVER think they are better then anyone. EVER. (But that is a blog for another day.) That is really all I can do as a parent. It's not too late for you either. If your children are among the ones I see out there that aren't required to use manners, now is the perfect time to change that.

"I Seen...."

Yup, that about sums it up. I hear, and see, this frequently. It drives me crazy, and quite frankly, lowers my opinion of the person's intelligence. You SAW it, you did not SEEN it. I just don't understand how that even sounds right to anyone. People who say it have to know that it makes them sound unintelligent. Right?! The way you speak matters! It really does. You can be a super smart Harvard graduate, but if you say things like "I seen", or "I ain't got none", you sound like an idiot. I am sure that seems mean to those of you that say "I seen", and you are probably right. It is mean. Go ahead and tell people how mean I am, heck, even write your own blog about it. Just please, please, don't tell people that you "seen" this blog...

Get Over Yourself

A trend I tend to see a lot on Facebook is the "Too cool for Facebook" poster. You probably all have at least one person like that on your friends list. If not, it's probably you ;) They join FB with much fanfare, posting about how a friend/family member/coworker finally convinced them to join. Even though they are MUCH too busy, because they actually have a life. Then they proceed to post every couple days about how they are "never" on, because they are much too busy, and so on. About three months or so after joining, they post a long status update about how they are deactivating their FB. Of course you know why, too busy, actually have a life, etc. If you want to get a hold of them, call or text, like in the old days. Naturally life goes on as normal, and you may, or may not give that friend any thought for the next three months or so. Then suddenly, a friend request pops up from them. Again. You may briefly be confused. "Aren't we already friends??" But then you'll remember how they are, or were it seems, much too busy for FB. Guess they must not have a life these days. You accept the request, and first thing you see is their post about rejoining Facebook. As it turns out, they are still much too busy, and still have a life. They just rejoined FB to keep in touch with family and friends far away. Whew! Good to know, you were worried for a minute that maybe they weren't busy anymore. Cue the daily, or semi daily posts about the evils of FB, and how busy they are. They actually HAVE a life you know....

Don't Lose The Magic!

Do you remember being a kid, and thinking that fairies, and leprechauns and unicorns were real? Me too. My mother never sat me down and explained that all of those things are fake, and to stop believing in them. She let me outgrow them naturally. And now, when she tells me about a book she just finished that I have to read, she doesn't say "It's about fairies, but those aren't real, okay?". She simply says "it was a great series, it's all about fairies and based in Ireland ". But these days parents seem to want their children to grow up way to fast. No one believes in magic, or allows their children to, anymore. It makes me so sad, not only for the child, but for the parents as well. One of my favorite things about being a parent, is being able to see the world as a child again. When my daughter sees fireflies, and says "Look Mommy! Fairies!!" I don't say "no Alyssa, those are just bugs". I say "Wow, would you look at that!". On Christmas Eve, when she sees a red light in the sky and says "Mom, look, it's Rudolph!", I don't correct her with "That's an airplane Alyssa." I tell her that she better get to bed then, because Santa must be close. My children will only be little for a short time. I'm in no hurry to make them grow up. My nine year old asked me the other day if it was "too babyish" to call me mommy. I told him he can call me mommy for as long as he likes, and I will never tell him he's too old. I'm certain that this will not cause him to still be calling me mommy when he goes off to college. I'm not concerned that Alyssa will drop out of school and move to Ireland to search for leprechauns, or that Lucas will run off in search of the elusive unicorn. But I am going to let them be kids, and keep that childhood magic, as long as possible. I, in turn, get to keep the magic awhile longer too. Children do grow up, they stop believing in magical things. But, if they are really lucky, they get to have children of their own. Then, for a little while at least, they can believe in magic again.

Someone Fetch Me My Escape Goat!

Now this may come as a shock, but Facebook is not the only place on the internet filled with awful spelling and grammar. There is also Babycenter. If you have never heard of Babycenter (BBC), well you probably don't have kids. Seriously though, it's a message board for pregnant women and parents. It's mostly mothers, but you have the occasional father as well. It can be a great place to go for information and/or support. My birth board for my daughter was, and still is, the best group of ladies ever. We are still a very close knit group, even five years later. It can also be a place full of heated debates over everything. Such as breast vs bottle, cloth diapers vs disposable, or if you should vaccinate or not. Not to mention the always fun chocolate milk threads ;) And the spelling.... Oh the spelling.

Today I was reading a post on the birth board for my youngest. A mother was asking for advice on an overly clingy baby. Several moms commented, but then I saw this: "wraps his arms around my leg and balls." Wha..? o_O After several very confused seconds, I realized that she meant BAWLS, as in cries. Not balls, as in testicles. Well, that makes a bit more sense. I continued to read different posts on the site, and saw somany lovely gems. Such as a young "pregnate" girl, someone who had all their belongings thrown out on the "curve", and someone who was not vaccinated, and "either" were her parents.

I think my all time favorite though (so far, of course), is the escape goat. A young lady was complaining about her "syco MIL". It didn't take long for the group to decipher that how she meant it: phsyco mother-in-law. They proceeded to give her their usual brand of advice, and a few snarky comments on her spelling. No, I was not one of them. I very rarely post on DWIL. Then the OP, or "original poster", came back to update. She proceeded to give more details, then complained that her mother-in-law was "accusing me of using her as my escape goat!". Cue the pictures of goats in saddles.

That awkward moment when....

You don't actually know what the word awkward means. Here you go:


awk·ward  (ôkwrd)
adj.
1. Not graceful; ungainly.
2.
a. Not dexterous; clumsy.
b. Clumsily or unskillfully performed: The opera was marred by an awkward aria.
3.
a. Difficult to handle or manage: an awkward bundle to carry.
b. Difficult to effect; uncomfortable: an awkward pose.
4.
a. Marked by or causing embarrassment or discomfort: an awkward remark; an awkward silence.
b. Requiring great tact, ingenuity, skill, and discretion: An awkward situation arose during the peace talks.
[Middle English awkeward, in the wrong way : awke, wrong (from Old Norse öfugr, backward; see apo- in Indo-European roots) + -ward, -ward.]
awkward·ly adv.
awkward·ness n.

I am constantly seeing "that awkward moment when..." posts. Some of them are funny. Such as "That awkward moment when you find out that your new boss is your husband's ex.", or "That awkward moment when you call your friend a bitch and she's standing behind you.". Yes, those are both pretty awkward situations. However, "that awkward moment when you can't find your cell phone" and "that awkward moment when you stub your toe and it really hurts!"? Not awkward. Inconvienent? Yes. Annoying? Yes. Even painful? Sometimes, yes. But not awkward. If you are going to constantly use a word, at least know what it means.

Small Business

I have noticed a major trend on Facebook. Everyone has a business of some kind. Some people are photographers, some are cake makers, or sell Avon. But I'm betting at least one person on your friends list has a business of some kind. If not, then you probably do. I have no problem with people promoting their business via a FB page. However, if you are going to do this, you should at least spell words correctly, and use proper grammar. I recently saw a page for a candy making business, in which the word marshmallow was spelled marshmello and homemade was homade. Rambling and run on sentences are very unprofessional as well. It's okay to promote yourself, but please do not post 17 times an hour, and never in all caps. STOP YELLING AT ME! If people are not responding to your many, many posts, I don't think it's because you wrote in lowercase letters.

On a similar note, if you are constantly posting about your business, and no one is responding, there might be a reason. Just because you own a camera, that does not make you a photographer, knowing how to work an oven does not make you a baker. A lot of people do have genuine talent, and do very well. For instance, I have someone on my friends list who makes hats. She does a wonderful job, and her page is very well written. I will gladly go to her in the event that I find myself needing a hat for myself, or a loved one. The people on my page, however, who have several different "business" that they post about non stop, with very poorly written pages/posts, do not, and will not, get my business. Just because it's on Facebook, doesn't mean that it shouldn't look professional.