It's all about the reaction...

That is what I tell my kids. How you react to a situation can change everything. This applies to adults too. Take my children, for instance. If I tell them to clean their room, and I get screams, fits, crying or attitude, that just makes me get a garbage bag and take care of it that way. However, if I get "okay, mom" and they do their best, I'm happy. Even if it isn't perfect. Or if Alyssa smacks Matthew. If he smacks her back, then they are both in trouble. But if he comes and tells me, then she will be the only one in trouble. Obviously this is all common sense, and most parents feel this way. But what about for yourself? How YOU react matters too. Not only does it shape how your kids react to things, but it also can change the whole dynamic of situations. If your child has a fit in public (and let's face it, we've all been there!), how you react can shape not only that fit, but all future fits. Now this is just MY opinion, but I think a lot of parents these days are too wimpy. If my kid has a fit either at home, or in public, I pick her up and remove her from the situation. End of story. I personally think that spending 20 minutes trying to reason with a 4 year old who is having a tantrum is insane. And because of my reaction, my daughter very rarely has fits in public. At home she is more willing, since that just gets her put in her bed. But if she has to leave the park/store/etc. that is no fun. I even once used this technique while babysitting my niece. We were trying to go for a walk, she started to have a fit and refused to move because Alyssa sat where she wanted to sit in the wagon. I didn't have the time to sit and reason with her, and I wasn't going to force Alyssa to move just to stop the fit. I had a crying baby who wanted to be moving NOW. So, I said "Nope, we are going", picked her up, set her in the wagon, and off we went. She pouted for about 30 seconds, then she was fine the entire rest of the time. I have never used it on a child not related to me though, so maybe it wouldn't work as well on a kid that isn't used to it ;) Anyway, it's not just about how you react to your kids. It's how you react to everything. Whether it's your husband forgetting to take out the garbage, your boss ticking you off, or the neighbor's dog barking all night long. Your reaction can make a bad situation better, or worse. So tell me, how do you react to things? How about your kids? I will admit that I am not always calm and rational. But I am trying my best to be. I want my kids to grow up to be able to handle bad moments with grace and good humor. They already talk about "reactions" all the time. Alyssa will ask me at least once a day if she is having good reactions today. Or if Matthew gets angry, she will say "Matthew, remember, reactions!" You can't control every situation, and life will not always be fair, or perfect. But you can control your own reactions.